Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
This passage of scripture gives us some useful guidance on managing disrespectful children, who are prone to answer back their parents in ways that could potentially trigger the wrong response on the path of those who are thus addressed. It is of critical importance that we as Christians understand the principle involved in the above passage, for it has tremendous bearing on what our response would be when suddenly tempted or angered by a disrespectful child. Parents are never to respond in like currency when children shout at them or even curse them out, and this appeal and instruction is particularly pertinent to parents from the islands of the Caribbean, who may have been brought up under a different system, where answering back was never tolerated or brooked by parents, but was instead instantly put down with brute force.
It is satan's special effort to irritate parents into reacting in a harsh, un-Christlike manner when our children overstep their bounds, but it is at times like these when we need the power of The Holy Spirit more than ever, to overshadow us, and enable us to keep our cool, so that the children's teeth are not extracted prematurely. As wolves hunt in the midnight hours, with their faces to the full moon, they are often heard howling, and there in the distance, they often find a responding chord in other wolves who also communicate by howling, thus making it manifest that the wild nature of the one is duplicated and found in the other.
But this should never be the case with Christian parents, for when our children howl at us, we should never sound a responding chord in like currency, but should rather keep our cool and not try to raise our voices above theirs, in order to be heard. At times like these, when tempers are prone to flare, silence is golden, and the very same child who uttered disrespectful words, will soon be haunted in their conscience by what they just did. Furthermore, it will never hurt for us to offer a silent word of prayer to God for both wisdom and restraint in dealing with the unruly child. It is always better to wait for a moment when tempers are cooled down, and we can speak calmly, yet firmly to our children, for this method of dealing with the issue of disrespect is much more productive of good, than reaching for the rod and administering it with brute force in the heat of the moment.
Children should never be disciplined in anger, for the emotional outbursts on the part of parents will be deeply etched into the psyche of the child, and will most likely be reproduced in them when they grow older and have kids of their own. Children should see in their parents at all times, both firmness and love, so that a balanced understanding of who God is can be transferred from parent to child, and thus, as the children see Jesus in us, they too will most likely pattern themselves after what they see and hear, and so God will be greatly honored in our lives and in our homes.
We therefore end with a passage of scripture which encourages us to do the right thing by the grace of God, for although we all know that it is most difficult to pray when we are angry or emotionally charged, yet by the grace of God we can properly represent Him at all times, even when we may be ticked off by a disrespectful child. Let's read:
James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue".... "is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
May The Lord add His blessing to the study and practice of His every word. God bless!