Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Whenever the issue of divorce comes up for consideration between man and wife, it is always a very difficult time in the relationship, for it often involves alienation, and bad feelings towards someone who was supposed to be not only a spouse, but also a best friend. And when there are children who get caught in the middle, the situation is all the more difficult to bear, because the children are usually torn apart in their own souls as they see the dissolution of the once warm friendship between mom and dad. The anger, the bitterness, and the fierce struggles pertaining to custody and assets which often ensue, could never be God's ideal will for members of the human family, nevertheless these situations do often occur, and therefore must be dealt with in the best manner possible.
First of all, as the above passage rightly states, it is not the will of God that a married couple should divorce, and if the marriage can be salvaged by any means, no effort in that direction should be spared, for reconciliation is always more preferable to separation, for the health and stability of parents and children. However, in the case of infidelity, where one has violated the marriage vow with a stranger, the word of God does provide the option of divorce, even though it should never be the first choice, according to the example set by God towards His people. In the scriptures, the relationship God has with us is likened unto a marriage, for it is very sacred in nature, and not to be disturbed or annulled if that can be avoided. Let's read:
Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Whenever the issue of divorce arises, it should be a call to earnest prayer and fasting, so that heavenly agencies might be engaged to save as far as possible the marriage relation, and this will call for patience, kindness, and forbearance of no ordinary character, but God is able to strengthen us in the ways of His choosing so that we are enabled to wait for His direction. When a spouse is found unfaithful to the marriage vow, the first option to be put on the table is forgiveness, on the part of the innocent one. Most men do struggle internally with lusts that pull the unguarded mind in an opposite direction from God, and for this reason it has been proven that adultery is a very formidable foe, for even the most renowned Christian men.
However, it is the ideal will of God that forgiveness be the very first option, and even though it may be one or more instances where this is called for, yet we should not become weary of well- doing because the offense may have been repeated several times. We ourselves have offended against God on numerous occasions, and He still offers us pardon and peace when ever there is an effort on our part to confess and forsake sin. Even though we may be deeply wounded in our souls, yet the example of Christ as He has dealt with us over the years should ever be before our faces, for most of us have confessed one particular sin to Him over and over again, yet He does not become weary of hearing our cry.
Let us therefore not allow our feelings and emotions to drive us to take the nuclear option of divorce, if we are in that situation, but let us rather continue to work on the marriage to save it, for God is able to do more than we can think of, and human hearts can still be changed for the better. We should also be very wary of getting advice from secular minds on such delicate matters, for they often tend to think in a non-biblical trend of thought, that most often caters to self-preservation, rather than forgiveness and reconciliation. Great patience and wisdom is needed when these situations arise, and although it may take years for a person to be victorious over adultery, yet we must never give up hope, especially if the unfaithful one is a Christian, for God is still able to save to the uttermost, those of us who return to Him with confession and penitence.
We therefore end with a passage of scripture which reminds us of the perfect example of God's forgiving power, and let us now extend those same mercies to the one we pledged to love all the days of our lives. Let's read:
Psalm 78:35 And they remembered that God was their rock, and the high God their redeemer. 36 Nevertheless they did flatter him with their mouth, and they lied unto him with their tongues. 37 For their heart was not right with him, neither were they stedfast in his covenant. 38 But he, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not: yea, many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. 39 For he remembered that they were but flesh; a wind that passeth away, and cometh not again.
May God add His blessing to the study and practice of His word. "Good night" and God bless!