Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
This passage of scripture cautions all parents not to allow emotionalism to control them in the training of their children, for this is one of the ways in which real, and permanent damage can be done to children, who are subject to such upbringing. Emotionalism can affect parents and children two ways, in that, on the one hand, a parent might refuse to offer discipline that is due, because of crying on the part of the child, or because the parent may not desire to hurt their young feelings. On the other hand, emotionalism is manifested when parents discipline their children in the heat of the moment, or when they fly into a rage because of some error on the part of the child, which causes the parents to use harsh angry words, or worst yet, brute force to subdue the evil.
Any which way, emotionalism and proper child training do not go hand in hand, for as the passage above rightly states, corrective measures should not be withheld from the child justbecause he or she breaks down in real, or "Crocodile" tears. Furthermore, the wise man states that there is only a limited window of opportunity to get the proper training done, for before we know it the children are grown, and traits of character have already become deeply rooted in their psyche, and with the passage of time, the evils which needed to be uprooted at an earlier age, become more and more difficult to reverse, as the children grow older. Hence the reason why we are counseled to "Train up a child", not only a teenager or young adult, for by the time they reach adolescence and young adulthood, the golden opportunity has already passed us by. Let's read:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
As a general rule of thumb, parents have the first seven years of life to set the general tenor of the child's character, and it is at this time, more than any other, that the fundamental principles such as implicit obedience, respect for others and parents, cleanliness, self-control, kindness, and honesty, are to be deeply ingrained in the child's mind, and it is during this period also, that the "Rod" of correction is to be used if needed, because strict discipline, administered in the spirit of love, tempered with firmness and an unwavering consistency, will send home the message to the child's mind, and the bad memory of the "Rod" is more easily erased.
But to attempt to do this very delicate work at a much older age, will put the parents at odds with their teenagers and young adults, for then the elements of resentment and rebellion will surface in most cases, and the parents may expect stiff opposition to training, whereas, if it was done earlier, it would have been much easier. Here is where many parents go wrong, and the doleful results are seen in waywardness, and a total disregard for all authority, which then causes the parents untold hearth-ache and embarrassment. A very important reading coming from the pen of inspiration is written, so that we may avoid making terrible mistakes like these. Let's read:
[Child Guidance pp. 231] Eli did not manage his household according to God’s rules for family government. He followed his own judgment. The fond father overlooked the faults and sins of his sons in their childhood, flattering himself that after a time they would outgrow their evil tendencies. Many are now making a similar mistake. They think they know a better way of training their children than that which God has given in His Word. They foster wrong tendencies in them, urging as an excuse, “They are too young to be punished. Wait till they become older and can be reasoned with.” Thus wrong habits are left to strengthen until they become second nature. The children grow up without restraint, with traits of character that are a lifelong curse to them and are liable to be reproduced in others.
There is no greater curse upon households than to allow the youth to have their own way. When parents regard every wish of their children and indulge them in what they know is not for their good, the children soon lose all respect for their parents, all regard for the authority of God or man, and are led captive at the will of Satan.
Let us therefore rise to the occasion, and do what has been too often neglected, for even though these duties and responsibilities are not always pleasant, yet, as parents we are under the most sacred obligation to train up our children for the time and for eternity. We therefore end with a passage of scripture which delineates the duties of both parents and children in a nutshell, and it is the will of God that we now step up to the plate and be found faithful to truth and duty. Let's read:
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
May God add His blessing to the study and practice of His word. "Good night" and God bless!