Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
This passage of scripture addresses one of the more sensitive areas of family life, and as it pertains to issues between husband and wife, the counsel thus given must be carefully studied and implemented, in order for the sanctity of the marriage to be preserved and maintained. As a matter of fact, the violation of marital secrets have often been the source of contention and resentment between husband and wife, and frequently leads to a final dissolution of marriages, which otherwise might have been spared such an ill-fated end.
When either the husband or the wife's privacy, secrets, or faults are disclosed to third parties, an element of deep resentment is thereby introduced, and whenever the other person in the marriage gets wind of the revelation, it often necessitates the spilling of more beans, in order to justify, or condemn some course of action. Thus the rumor mill gets to spinning, with satan hidden from view, adding ingredients and other bits and pieces of information, until an entire fabrication of truth mixed with falsehoods and variations, are now blended into juicy tidbits of gossip, which are then circulated from person to person. This course of action the word of God signally denounces. Let's read:
James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
Now it is true that we all need someone to talk to about our cares and concerns, and at times there may be friends or marriage counselors who can be trusted with sensitive, private issues pertaining to married life, but even though confidentiality may be the case with a friend, yet the personal issues arising between husband and wives should remain at home, and should never ever be disclosed, even to a trusted friend, whenever and wherever this can be avoided.
The reason for this is that it is not the ideal will of God that third parties be introduced to solve problems within the marriage, for if two people are indeed converted, and have the Holy Ghost living on the inside, there is no problem which He cannot solve, and no wounds which Christ cannot heal, for Jesus is referred to as the mighty counselor in the Bible, meaning that we can take every concern and problem to Him for final and confidential resolution. Let's read:
Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
Furthermore, a very important piece of information is written by the pen of inspiration on these very issues, and it will do all married couples well to read soberly, with the intent of putting into practice, the counsels which are thus written. Especially should this advice be heeded when intimate issues are involved, for to expose such delicate information will be to violate the most private aspects of the marriage, which should never be made privy to third parties under any circumstances. Thus, instead of going to Oprah and doctor Phil with our private concerns, let these be resolved together with Christ, so that all such problems may die a natural death, and be forever buried in the hearts of both husband and wife. Let's read:
[The Adventist Home pp. 177] There is a sacred circle around every family which should be preserved. No other one has any right in that sacred circle. The husband and wife should be all to each other. The wife should have no secrets to keep from her husband and let others know, and the husband should have no secrets to keep from his wife to relate to others. The heart of his wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wife’s faults. Never should either party indulge in a joke at the expense of the other’s feelings.
Never should either the husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others, for frequently indulging in this foolish and what may seem perfectly harmless joking will end in trial with each other and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around every family. The home circle should be regarded as a sacred place, a symbol of heaven, a mirror in which to reflect ourselves. Friends and acquaintances we may have, but in the home life they are not to meddle. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness, trust.
Let us therefore seek earnestly to guard the sanctity of the marriage relation, for God will give us the enabling power, and necessary wisdom to solve in a mutual manner, any problem which may arise from time to time. We therefore end with a passage of scripture which encourages verbal restraint and godly wisdom in handling all matters which pertain to the privacy and longevity of our relationships with each other. Let's read:
James 3:14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
May God add His blessing to the study and practice of His word. "Good night" and God bless!