Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
This passage of scripture teaches us the importance of humbling ourselves by submitting to one another in the fear of God, a teaching which when carried out can effectively solve many of the problems which occur within the marriage. One of the reasons why divorces are so common is because in some instances, one may be determined to have his or her own way, regardless of the wishes and preferences of the other. The above passage teaches us that husbands and wives who are "One flesh" should submit to one another, once the law of God is not being violated.
In the example given between Christ and His church, we see where Jesus as the head, does not rule arbitrarily, but rather gave His life for the church, and throughout His ministry here on earth, we see the principle of service being manifested front and center in all of His dealings with the human family. He washed the feet of His disciples, an act that should have been done in reverse, He fed the multitudes, He healed the sick, and those who were oppressed, and finally He laid down His life for His "Wife", the church. And so ought men to love their own wives.
One of the aspects of married life we always need to bear in mind is that we are no longer two but one, and as such, everything that is done should be with the best interest of the other in mind. We cannot have our own independence and still be married at the same time for the two concepts conflict, and whenever the husband or wife insists on doing whatever they well please, without regard to the other, there is seen a gradual break down of intimacy, communication, forbearance, and unity, elements which are critically important to any healthy marriage. The result is that coldness and indifference to each other settles into the marriage relation, and what God intended to be a life-long experience of joy and contentment, is changed to a galling yoke of resentment and regret, and these feelings and attitudes are inevitably passed on to the children, who sense the disturbance between the parents.
All of these negatives can be avoided if we were to submit to one another in the fear of God, and if we are humble enough to follow the instructions given in the scriptures, God will add His grace so that every issue can be resolved in a amicable and peaceful manner. We therefore end with a passage of scripture which encourages us to seek after peace by surrendering ourselves first to Christ, and then to one another so that God's purpose for the marriage institution, can be fulfilled in our lives. Let's read:
James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
May the blessings of God rest upon our marriages and families so that His good will may be manifested in our relationships with one another. God bless!