James 1: 19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
There are instructions given in the Bible for dealing with rumors, gossips, fairytales, complaints, stories, and there is guidance given for handling resolutions to issues that are entirely true so that God’s will may be done in all scenarios.
Because we are fallen and do live in an evil world, it is inevitable that somewhere, sometime, somehow, arguments and disagreements may spring up among persons and these instances would at times produce stories and rumors that can spread like a wildfire if not held in check.
These stories, which have two sides in most cases, can affect not only persons in the secular realm, like politicians, and unbelievers, but they have also been observed at times during board meetings, and also among fellow church members.
Back then, in the days just after Pentecost, some of the brethren took issue with Paul and Peter when it was discovered that they were bringing the Gentiles into the church, who had not been circumcised, and the report spread across the early church like a wild fire.
This caused such a great upset, in so much that they had to call the first emergency conference meeting to hear the two sides to the story so that they could resolve the issue, and thank God, they did resolve it, but not before there were some heated arguments between the two sides.
In that instance, The Holy Spirit was present, since God has given Him to be with us always, not only when things are going smooth and lovey dovey, but also when there are disturbances, arguments, and complaints to be dealt with.
God doesn’t leave, or forsake Christians when they have problems to resolve, for if He were to do so, it would result very often in mayhem, and even fights. Thus, The Holy Ghost remained at the meeting even as heated words, and accusations flew left, right and center. Let’s read:
Acts 15:1 And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved.
2 When therefore Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question.
4 And when they were come to Jerusalem, they were received of the church, and of the apostles and elders, and they declared all things that God had done with them.
5 But there rose up certain of the sect of Pharisees which believed, saying that it was necessary to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.
6 And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter.
7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.
Again, God does not leave nor forsake husbands and wives when they may have problems and arguments in their married life. Persons do make mistakes, and there are times when in the Christian household the peace that passes all understanding might go up in smoke for a while.
This doesn’t mean that they should be written off as not being Christian, for even though we are to strive for excellence in our behaviors and demeanors, the fact is that this is not always the case, and whenever a volatile situation may arise, Biblical instructions, as per a godly resolution, should be sought after.
Several of these instructions, principles, ways, and means are given in the Scriptures, so that folks may be guided by the word of God, when the going gets rough. We begin with the first instruction found in our opening passage, which deals with the issue of avoiding gossip, and talebearing. Let’s read:
Instruction [1]: James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
This instruction when carried out in the spirit of love could stop fairytales in their tracks, and would grant time for careful consideration before drawing your conclusions.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, when those juicy tidbits are being served up one’s emotions and feelings might get in the way of rational thought and wherever this is the case, persons would be prone to rush to judgement, before hearing both sides of the story.
Tales have a way of going through a metamorphoses and taking on a life of their own, in so much that it’s often the case when they emerge from the spin mill, other details that were never in the original account may become added to the mix, and this often tends to blur the truth in the matter.
Another instruction in dealing with stories and hear says that may even be true, is that of confirming the matter from more than one person, because doing so will prevent one lone wolf from spewing scatter-shots from the Jerry Springer rifle. Let’s read:
Deuteronomy 19: 15 One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sins: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established.
16 If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him that which is wrong;
17 Then both the men, between whom the controversy is, shall stand before the Lord, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in those days;
18 And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother.
19 Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you.
Instruction [2]: 1st Timothy 5: 19 Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.
Note well the Scriptural instruction in the passage is to refuse the accusation if it is coming from a single source. This does not necessarily mean that it is not true, it may actually be true, but if it is coming only from one person, it should be refused.
In other words, before rushing to conclusions, take some time to listen carefully, without biases, and let there be a preponderance of unmistakable evidence before drawing any conclusion.
This way of handling stories, and rumors which may occur from time to time, could save a lot of persons the pain, and heartache of repairing damages, after the fact.
It must be stated here that because of man’s fallen nature, we naturally tend to gravitate towards bad news, more than good news, in so much that the news media actually thrives off of negative stories much more than good news.
For instance, when some juicy tabloid story is on the menu, as is the case currently, you will usually find that the 7:00 pm news hour will open up with the story in question while the news on health and well- being is left for last, for around 7:45 pm.
Instruction [3] Leviticus 19: 16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor; I am the Lord.
This instruction on the issue of stories, coming from the rumor mill has to do with us not being a conduit for the tales in question. For us to take pleasure in spreading tales, even those that are true, can bring persons more in alignment with the accuser of the brethren than with the Spirit of truth that emanates from Jesus.
Some persons believe that tales are only fictitious in nature, and could never be true; but while in most cases they may be concocted stories there are times when they could also be true. Let’s read:
Definition from Oxford Languages: Tale: A fictitious or true narrative or story, especially one that is imaginatively recounted.
Thus, the passage above that we just read does not deal with whether or not the story is true, it deals with the issue of being a conduit for the negatives.
And one of the reasons for this instruction against being a conduit, is that embellishments are often added, to spin the story into harmony with what the conduit prefers to hear. This can distort truth, and it can potentially do irreparable damage to the person in question. Let’s read:
[Acts of the Apostles pp 319] Christ-like love places the most favorable construction on the motives and acts of others. It does not needlessly expose their faults; it does not listen eagerly to unfavorable reports, but seeks rather to bring to mind the good qualities of others.
This leads us to the story for today, which is a case study on how to deal with two sides to a story. We’ll listen to both sides, we will observe the resolution, and we must try by the grace of God to learn and apply the pertinent lessons learned. Let’s read:
1st Kings 3:16 Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.
[1] The women were harlots.
Just because they were harlots should not lead us to conclude that the story is coming from questionable sources, and as such, we shouldn’t care less to listen if they come seeking a resolve, through the justice system in Solomon’s day.
Solomon listened, God apparently listened, and if it is the case that a Christian happens to find himself in a similar situation, we should consider listening without bias, and without drawing conclusions, or dismissing the case, just because of the source.
The Bible teaches us to give everyone a fair shake at justice so that even if one of the women was known to be a prostitute, or any other questionable person for that matter, king Solomon must afford them due process and he must exercise impartiality in hearing their issue.
In fact, when you dig a little deeper, The Lord had forbidden His people to countenance whoredom in any form, or fashion, but if the matter pertained to justice, every person must have their day in court.
Too often in our day, persons who are considered to be in the lower echelons of society are marginalized when it comes to justice, while the rich and famous, are afforded ample room to make their case.
Not so with God, for He commanded that each and every case, coming to the courts, be heard without bias, and with no consideration being given to one’s status or financial standing, as is too often the case in our day.
In this way, the basic rights of all would be free from discrimination, and all would have access to justice, because God is not all about mercy with no justice, for if this were the case, His character would be off balanced.
In fact, in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel was sent to reprove, and encourage the king, to make some of the necessary changes in the way he was handling matters of the kingdom, especially issues pertaining to the less fortunate.
At that time Daniel pointed to the cruelty which was being meted out to the poorer classes within his realm, as an area that needed redress, since it was being recorded as sin in the books of heaven. Let’s read:
Daniel 4: 27 Wherefore, O king, let my counsel be acceptable unto thee, and break off thy sins by righteousness, and thine iniquities by shewing mercy to the poor; if it may be a lengthening of thy tranquility.
The operations of God’s kingdom upon the earth are not to be viewed as being only spiritual in nature for the way persons are treated, and mistreated in the court systems of earth, always catches the attention of The Most-High. Let’s read:
Deuteronomy 16: 18 Judges and officers shalt thou make thee in all thy gates, which the Lord thy God giveth thee, throughout thy tribes: and they shall judge the people with just judgment.
19 Thou shalt not wrest judgment; thou shalt not respect persons, neither take a gift: for a gift doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous.
Deuteronomy 1: 16 And I charged your judges at that time, saying, Hear the causes between your brethren, and judge righteously between every man and his brother, and the stranger that is with him.
17 Ye shall not respect persons in judgment; but you shall hear the small as well as the great; you shall not be afraid of the face of man; for the judgment is God's and the cause that is too hard for you, bring it unto me, and I will hear it.
The Lord continued to address the issues pertaining to justice in the New Testament, as Jesus sought to warn against the habit of exercising disparities in religious practice. Let’s read:
Matthew 23: 23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Isaiah 59:4 None calls for justice, nor any pleads for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.
14 And judgment is turned away backward, and justice stands afar off for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter.
15 Yea, truth fails; and he that departs from evil maketh himself a prey: and the Lord saw it, and it displeased him that there was no judgment.
Thus, in the narrative under consideration the two women are to be granted due process just like any other, for there are basic rights that pertain to every human being, whoever they may be. Let’s read:
1st Kings 3:17 And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house.
18 And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house.
19 And this woman's child died in the night; because she overlaid it.
[2] Those who are first to bring accusations can very well be the ones at fault. This is not always the case, but you never know, hence the reason why Solomon has to listen carefully to both sides of the story.
It is quite possible, though not conclusive, that the woman who speaks first in the narrative is the one at fault, for if you were to take a closer look at her testimony, there are some details there that should be given a second look. For instance, she says that she was sleeping when the other woman took her child.
Now, there have been other instances when persons apparently got minute details, whilst asleep, so we should not come to any firm conclusions just yet.
For example, some of the soldiers who were tasked with keeping Jesus’ body securely in the tomb, also said that they had revelations of fine details while sleeping. Thus, it is nothing uniquely coincidental to the narrative we are studying. Let’s read:
Matthew 28: 12 And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large money unto the soldiers,
13 Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept.
14 And if this comes to the governor's ears, we will persuade him, and secure you.
Now, if indeed the first woman was in a deep sleep as claimed, when the fraud took place, it seems as if she too got a lot of minute details while apparently asleep.
What is also conspicuous is that the other woman does not mention anything about sleeping, so there appears an immediate inconsistency between the two sides of the issue. That’s why you have to listen to both sides of a story because you just don’t know for sure in every case. Let’s read:
1st Kings 3:20 And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.
21 And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.
22 And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this said, no; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus, they spoke before the king.
[3] Solomon listened attentively to both sides of the story, as we also should do whenever we encounter a similar situation.
Solomon listened attentively, and patiently to the two sides of the story, as the two women went back and forth over the issue. He did not let his emotions drive him to hasty conclusions after hearing the first side. He waited respectfully for the two parties to present their case, before he said a single word.
This methodology is born of God, for it gives both the accused and the accuser a fair chance to make their case, as we should do when we find ourselves in similar situations.
It has been observed over the centuries that women will generally tend to listen favorably to women and men favorably to men, when issues arise. This often results in a sinner and a saint being on the menu, as male and female biases are sometimes permitted to taint the narrative.
Therefore, the Christian is strongly advised to listen in with one male ear, and one female ear so that the tales, stories, and accusations could be heard in an objective manner, not being influenced by personal feelings, emotions, preconceived opinions or biases.
This will then open the way for impartial judgments and conclusions to be reached, which would tend to be in line with scriptural ideals and if these ordained methods were to be employed pervasively, what a huge difference would be made in some verdicts. Let’s read:
1st Kings 3:23 Then said the king, The one saith, this is my son that lives, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, no; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.
24 And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.
25 And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.
26 Then spoke the woman, whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.
27 Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.
28 And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.
It’s very rare where you hear persons say it was my fault. Especially is this the case when grave matters between spouses may get blown out into the public square. One spouse might present their side of the story, with bias, so as to make the other the villain.
The other spouse, on the other hand, feeling that the entire truth was not spoken in the matter, might get defensive and may make self-justification efforts to clear his or her name.
Now, while it is true that we are all struggling to do that which is right, and pleasing in God’s sight, the fact is that there will be instances in our experience when for some reason or another, issues will bubble up to the surface. Those who are tasked with listening and giving their two cents in these matters should, like Solomon be in tune with God, so that their conclusions, and the determinations emanating from their lips will bear the stamp of God’s approval.
There are times and there would be times when you may be tasked with listening to two sides of a story, where only God, who reads the heart, could make a correct determination and thus, the instructions we are given in the Bible will greatly help in navigating any potential mine fields.
More than this, the spirit of love will help to mend broken relationships, and soothe frayed nerves even as we endeavor to reflect Christ in our interactions with others. Whenever rumors, tales, and stories may have to be dealt with, let your conclusions be redemptive, and conciliatory in nature, as much as is possible, for the Christian must seek reconciliation, not annihilation as is too often the case.
God will bless all such efforts if we seek His wisdom and guidance in these matters, for as was stated up front, He does not leave Christians alone, to handle volatile situations all by themselves when they may have stories or tales to deal with. We therefore end with a passage of Scripture that should point us in the direction of reconciliations, wherever possible, for this is the good and perfect will of God. Let’s read:
James 5: 19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
20 Let him know, that he which converts the sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and shall hide a multitude of sins.
God Bless!