Raising godly children in 2020 presents far greater challenges than in former years, because although the instructions in the Bible have not changed, yet, in our day, children have more ready access to evil, which is literally at their fingertips, and parents now have to be doubly vigilant and proactive in an effort to raise them according to Biblical standards.
Also, there are certain laws of the land which have hamstrung the sincere efforts of parents, and when juxtaposed with the teachings of evolution, and the alternative lifestyles which have become mandatory in some school districts, we have a toxic mix on our hands which often counteracts the sacred teachings and principles of the Bible on these matters.
Thus, those who try to raise their children in this day and age, will have very severe challenges, and conflicts to deal with, and they will have to spend a whole lot of time on their knees, not only praying to God for guidance and direction, but also, that the forces of evil that have been put in motion, will not confuse the tender consciences of the young and restless.
Nothing is worse than growing up without a sense of right and wrong, and the current tendency to put evil for good and light for darkness is taking a toll on the moral compass of our children, so that what we understood as being wrong and inappropriate in the years gone by, has now become fashionable.
Not long ago it was unthinkable that an openly gay person could run for president of the United states, but it is now evident that this mode of thought, and feeling is being viewed as ludicrous in many circles, to the point where economic boycott together with accusations of hate will be hurled at those who dare to stand up for truth.
Therefore, it’s against these potent forces that have been put in motion, it is against these headwinds of change, that parents in our day are tasked with the challenge of raising godly children to be useful men and women of society, candidates for heaven, and moral lights in our world. It will not be an easy task for parents by any stretch of the imagination, but the grace of God is given to every parent who sees their need and asks for help.
Great care and planning must take place in deciding to have children in this day and age and even before they are born the work of raising them begins. The habits, and diet of the mother will affect the unborn child either for better or worse, so it would be much more preferable to get a head start even before and during pregnancy.
We are what we eat, and therefore, whatsoever the mother puts into her stomach would ultimately be transferred to the unborn child. The umbilical cord is mainly a means of transfer, not merely a filtering system, so that if booze, coffee, drugs and feverish foods are ingested by the mother, the baby will be adversely affected.
On the contrary if the mother monitors closely what she eats and drinks during pregnancy, making sure to eat only wholesome foods wherever possible, it will go a long way in making good blood in the baby. This fact is not only scientific in nature, it is a biblical teaching. Let’s read:
Judges 13: 2 And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not.
3 And the angel of the Lord appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou art barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.
4 Now therefore beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing. 5 For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.
Manoah and his wife were apparently faithful in the discharge of duty as it pertains to diet and food and from the Biblical record, they seemed to have given Samson godly instruction that would serve to help him later on in life, when he would get into trouble.
But the friends Samson was permitted to associate with early on in life, exerted a telling influence, later on in his experience, and this affiliation molded his choices, preferences and tastes. In other words, the efforts made by godly parents will be counteracted by the influence of ungodly friends, in most cases.
The natural tendency of our fallen nature is to track in a downward trajectory and thus, it seems harder to swim upstream with god-fearing friends, who will encourage right-doing, than downstream where the popular majority converge, and where anything and everything goes.
We are all social beings, and influence has a ripple effect, especially on the minds of children who are generally inexperienced in discerning between right and wrong. Evil habits and vices are often suggested and shared amongst peers, and with some children the effects can be long lasting and devastating.
Many a problem, or bad habit, that is manifested in some adults can be traced right back to the friends they were permitted to have when young. At times, some may recover, but in other instances the habits thus derived and indulged can become very difficult to shake.
Parents are thus under the most sacred obligation, to closely monitor the associations of their children. It is too often the case that the young, and restless are left to make their own choices, but this should never be the case. Until the children reach the age of personal accountability, the onus rests squarely on the shoulders of parents.
Thus, there are many pitfalls, and errors in training that are to be avoided at all costs, if parents want to raise godly children for Christ’s kingdom. And it will be well worth the time and effort, if parents would carefully consider the following instructions, given in God’s word and also gleaned through experience.
[1] Pray without ceasing.
Parents who know better, should never attempt to raise their children without seeking God for Divine help, guidance, and direction from the Bible, and through the ongoing efforts of The Holy Ghost, for wherever this is attempted without Christ, serious errors will be made, one way or the next.
The Bible teaches us that children are an heritage of The Lord, and since they are His, both by creation and redemption, it is only fitting that parents pray without ceasing for their children, so that the forces of evil that are already arrayed against their young souls could be neutralized, at least to some degree.
This is what the faithful in times past did, and the results are before our faces so that we may follow where God led them in days of yore. Job prayed, and Abraham prayed, and the parents of the three Hebrew boys prayed, so that their children would do the right thing, even in difficult circumstances. Let’s read:
Genesis 18:17 And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;
18 Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
Job 1: 1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.
5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.
Mark 10:13 And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.
14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
[2] Beware of temper tantrums.
When children throw a temper tantrum, to try to force the hands of parents on some wrong desire they may have, the parents should never ever give in, to the demands thus made. Love must always be balanced with firmness for this is where many make serious mistakes in the training of children.
We reiterate again, kindness must be balanced with firmness on the part of both parents. Children must not be led to regard one parent as a savior, and the other as the devil. Both parents ought to present a united front, so that whatsoever good the mother says concerning training, the father will say too.
Jesus Christ is presented in the Bible not only as The Savior, but also as a Judge, meaning that He is kind, and very merciful but He also carries a big stick. The tendency to succumb to every demand or desire of the children without reference to their eternal well- being is described as hate, and not love in the Bible. Let’s read:
Exodus 34:6 And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,
7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty.
Proverbs 3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction.
12 For whom the Lord loveth he corrects; even as a father the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Worst yet, at such times when a child may throw a temper tantrum, one parent should never appear to sympathize with the child, while the other remains firm, because children are quick to discern cracks in the united front all godly parents should maintain. And when those cracks begin to appear the children will most likely press their cases, all the more, until their clamors are granted.
In other words, parents should never be bullied into subservience through a multitude of tears or screaming. Let the child know that such demonstrations will be entirely fruitless in producing results.
If there is a disagreement between parents on how any problem pertaining to training is to be handled, such disagreements should never surface in front of the children for this will inevitably weaken the force of instructions when given. In other words, parents may disagree all they like in private but never in the presence of their children.
[3] Beware of comfort foods.
Be very careful in handing out comfort foods, where in order to stop children from crying, they are given sweets, candies, and other articles of food, for they would grow up with the habit of resorting to eating whenever they are depressed, or, are being faced with difficulties and challenges.
Sweets often produce sugar highs, and sugary highs produce peevishness, and therefore, in many cases the crying will only be exacerbated after the high is gone. When children cry, they are almost always asking for attention for some issue they are having, and therefore pacifiers and comfort foods will treat only the symptoms, not the cause.
Foods and drinks will play a critical role in whether the child will be strong or weak, whether they will have a good constitution, or whether they will be subject to every disease and virus that comes their way. Thus, food should never be offered as a means of pacifying the child.
[4] Love must be manifested in word and deed.
The saying, monkey see monkey do is true, because whatever characteristics the children view as being actively manifested in their parents, would in most cases be reproduced in their own lives. Love begets love, and it is of critical importance, that whether in times of celebration or discipline, the children know that they are loved by their parents.
This one characteristic will make all the difference and would make it much easier for the children to open up to parents about difficulties and problems they are dealing with. Training of children isn’t only about don’ts, it also about do’s, and therefore love must be reinforced as a pillar in training.
Kindly words, and deeds in friendly tones, physical interaction with children, and compliments where warranted, go a long way in encouraging them to do right. Rigid discipline without love often offsets the good that can be done otherwise and therefore, the springboard of all our actions, as parents, should be love.
Especially should the children see genuine love and concern being manifested in both parents towards each other, for this will increase a sense of security, and would most likely be reproduced in their own experiences, later on in life.
[5] Beware of social media.
This last one is huge, because very many children nowadays, know how to google before they can even say their abc’s. The internet can be used for much good, but just like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, bad things are often interwoven with the good.
The five senses are the avenues to the soul, and all parents should be aware that deep and permanent impressions will be made on the minds of children when they spend hours and hours surfing without any supervision.
By so doing, seeds of pornography and other vices are driven home to the mind and would ultimately spring up and bear fruit accordingly. And since by beholding we become changed, parents are to be cognizant of what their children may be seeing and hearing and doing on social media.
Personal information should never be given out, if it is not warranted, and the practice of sexting should be strictly forbidden, because there are now virtual stalkers who are constantly on the lookout for the weak and vulnerable. Parents should also be aware that there are also virtual bullies, who often try to shame or pressure the child into submission.
Therefore, we say again, in the most solemn and grave manner possible, “Beware of social media”.
Even though the child may clamor for access, even though their peers may be allowed to surf without restraint by parents who may not know better, and even if tremendous pressure is brought against the parents to yield to the child’s demands, let godly wisdom and discretion rule the day.
It’s better to save than to surf, and if parents know that the horses will be let out of the barn when the unrestrained use of the internet is permitted, then let them be firm and kind in putting any necessary backstops or restrictions in place, because parent’s accountability to God is not changed by google.
In closing off this segment, we will like to encourage all would-be, and current parents of children to be resolute, to have a plan, and to be consistent and firm in the training of your children, for they are the leaders of tomorrow and if we do our part faithfully, trusting in the mercies of God, He will cooperate with our efforts to produce the desired results.
We therefore end with a passage of scripture that we would do well to keep in mind, as we face the enormous challenges of raising godly children. Let’s read:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
God Bless!