Those who may be looking for a spouse can derive precious instructions from the history of Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah, for the whole experience is fraught with important information relative to the union of two persons for life. It is often the case that one’s expectations may not be met in exactly the way planned or hoped for, and dreams can at times be different from reality.
Thus, since we find ourselves living in an imperfect world, our expectations should be managed in a reasonable manner with the understanding that all men and women are fallen, and thus, there would be room for growth, development, negotiation and adjustments because true marriage is a school from which one never graduates.
However, with the passage of time, most persons become more set in their ways, and one’s search may become more streamlined, because with life’s experiences at our back, we generally know exactly what we’re looking for. Therefore, the knowledge gained from an observation of Isaac and Rebekah, would provide helpful guidelines in one’s search.
Several passages from Genesis 24 will be studied, highlighted, and expounded upon, so that we may obtain a better knowledge of how God works in these matters, and thus, how prospective persons should cooperate with Him. The very first point to be observed, and one that is all-important, is the inclusion of God in all of one’s efforts and planning.
Earnest prayer, a humble dependence on Him, and well-directed effort coupled together with patience are of critical importance, since the decisions made are intended to be for life. God acknowledges our disposition to put Him in the driver’s seat, for it sets the stage for Him to work in our behalf, because He was consulted upfront. Let’s read:
Genesis 24: 2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had,
3 I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell.
7 The Lord God, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
Here we see that both Abraham and Eliezer were praying persons, for God figured prominently, both in their conversation and in their plans. And having consulted God’s will, and His direction, it was time for the next step of searching, because cooperation with God is an integral part of the exercise of faith in any matter.
Now, on the issue of cooperation it’s important that we do not succumb to fairy-tale concepts of God, by which no effort is made on our part. There is a song that says “Just believe, and it will happen”. But if we were to adopt these words, it will never happen. In every situation, where God worked in a miraculous manner for individuals, they were required to do all they could in the realization of the promises.
This vital principle can be seen in all of the miracles Jesus did, from the raising of Lazarus, to the feeding of the five thousand, from the healing of ten lepers, to the restoration of health to the impotent man at Solomon’s porch. Even the woman who touched the hem of Christ’s garment had to press through the crowd so that her faith could become reality.
Thus, it was also with Joshua and the Hebrews, as they endeavored to conquer Jericho. God had given them the promise, and it was by His power alone that the walls would be thrown down. But they all were required to march, and to blow their trumpets and shout because faith without works is very dead.
An important commentary is written on the relation between faith and works, and we would do well to grasp the essence of the concept, for it is scattered throughout spiritual, temporal, financial, physical, agricultural, and social pursuits. In other words, no worthy endeavor gets done without cooperation with God. Let’s read:
[Patriarchs & Prophets pp 509] Joshua had received the promise that God would surely overthrow these enemies of Israel, yet he put forth earnest effort as though success depended upon the armies of Israel alone. The secret of success is the union of divine power with human effort.
Therefore, in harmony with the exercise of faith the servant of Abraham sets out on his journey to look for a wife for Isaac. He did not just pray, and stay at home, for there were not any viable prospects at home. It is not accurate to conclude that the only men and women available attend your local church. In seeking for a spouse, persons can and should visit other churches where like-minded believers are in attendance.
Now it may not be necessary for persons to transfer their membership, but they can absolutely visit, for that is what Eliezer did, he visited other “churches” in which like-minded persons could be found. Again, some may have heard it said that there are scarcely any good Adventist men and women to be found for they all seem to be taken.
God categorically debunks that notion, for there are literally millions available. When Paul got frustrated in his efforts to find persons willing to accept Christ, he gave up in despair, and was about to leave, but God stopped him, and revealed that, in fact there were many prospects in that city. Paul couldn’t see them, but God knew who, and where they were. Let’s read:
Acts 18:6 And, he shook his raiment, and said unto them, I am clean; from henceforth I will go unto the Gentiles.
9 Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, speak, and hold not thy peace.
10 For I have much people in this city.
Another issue that should receive due attention is that of finances, for there are many who rush into marriage without careful thought or preparation. Ask anyone who has walked this road before, and they will tell you that marriage can be expensive.
Thus, in looking for a spouse, let due consideration be given to the issue of finances, and let there be proper preparation for the children who might be born, so as to avoid the pitfalls of under-funding or financial embarrassment. This is what was put in place early on, so that when Eliezer went in search of Isaac’s wife, he could “Afford” to look for a wife. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:22 And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold.
That is about $6,700.00 in gold, at today’s current prices. But Eliezer didn’t stop there, for it was also important that Rebekah’s parents know that their daughter would be treated well, and not be wanting for bread.
As was stated several times before on this forum, God is much more practical and down-to-earth in His ways than many persons realize, and therefore, these things are written for those who come after, so that they may choose wisely. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:29 And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban.
30 And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, that he came unto the man.
31 And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the Lord;
The earring, and bracelets represent the material concerns of marriage that shouldn’t be overlooked in one’s search for a spouse. Cute doesn’t pay bills, and a man is especially responsible for the financial well-being of his wife and family. There are cases in which two persons who are financially or materially compromised, have tied the knot, without any plan in place to fill the void.
This situation should be avoided wherever possible, for a continual lack of funds can cause undue stress and turmoil in the marriage. Financial security is not to be looked upon as something evil, for it prevents embarrassment, and it tends to lessen worry about where one’s next meal is coming from.
That’s why Eliezer went the extra mile to give some assurance to Rebekah and her family that she would be well-taken care of. Poverty is not a virtue, and those who are thinking of getting married would be well-served if financial planning is incorporated into their expectations and projections.
Realizing most of the common goals of life costs money, and therefore, it’s not a matter to be left on the back burner, with the vain hope that by some miracle, God will provide without any well-directed effort on the part of both. Especially is this true of the man, who in many cases is held responsible for the financial well-being of his household.
That is why Eliezer went over and beyond, to give some assurances to Rebekah and her family, that she will be well-taken care of in a land of strangers. It was not boasting on his part; it was good common sense so that Rebekah’s family would feel confident that she would not be restricted to eating at Burger king. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:35 And the Lord hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.
53 And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things.
Another vital point to consider in one’s search, is that of character, which must take preeminence over externals. Uniform kindness without bias, and a willingness to work diligently, are traits that would prove indispensable to the longevity of a marriage. Again, we are currently suffering from an epidemic of idleness, by which the precious hours are wasted online, whilst others have become addicted to the one-eyed monster.
But Rebekah was different, for it was seen that she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, and kindness to strangers was not something out of her purview. In fact, she was unconsciously fulfilling that which was to be written many centuries later by Solomon, as he outlined the character of a virtuous woman. His observations apply equally to male and female and go a long way in making married life a blessing. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac.
18 And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
19 And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.
20 And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Last, but not least, it is often the case that when looking for a spouse, some may feel it necessary to indulge exposure of oneself. But when this is done, then the focus often turns to the externals, and the other weightier matters may be unattended.
Therefore, let decency characterize all interactions between prospective individuals, so that externals do not provoke irrational exuberance, and thereby throw caution to the wind. The principles, methods and standards which govern the secular world are not to be adopted by Christians, wherever there is conflict between truth and error.
Sensualism, and exposure figure quite prominently in dating, whereas with the Christian, a more sober approach is advised, for a person’s good character will tend to longevity, whereas mere externals may stumble when confronted with disease, hardship, or any of the other adverse conditions, which at times may crop up from nowhere. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:65 For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail and covered herself.
1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety;
10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
The rest of the marriage between Rebekah and Isaac is history, for they were indeed a match made in heaven. That is not to say that they did not have their own issues to deal with, for just as was stated before, marriage is a school from which persons never graduate.
There would be some hills to climb, and there would be some rivers to cross, there would be sunny days, and rainy days, and at times there can be famines, even with the best of financial planning, as Isaac and Rebekah found out. Yet, in all, and through it all, if God is at the center of the marriage, He will make the rough edges smooth, and the crooked places plain.
Whenever, and wherever God is consulted for guidance in marriage, and persons are willing to wait humbly, whilst putting forth earnest effort, the end result will be the best that it can be, for with God, all things are possible, as observed in the history of Isaac and Rebekah, as they sailed off into the sunset. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:63 And Isaac lifted up his eyes, and behold, the camels were coming.
64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her.
God Bless!